Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The American Enterprise

My Dad just got an introductory issue of The American Enterprise, a (what else!) conservative magazine of ideas. It had an hilarious review of the year 2005 by James Lileks. I thought I would quote one or two exceptionally funny snippets for you.

Pope John Paul II dies. To the horror of many, his successor turns out to be Catholic.

Iran announces it will no longer allow inspectors into the Khomeini Memorial Peaceful Nuclear Research Facility for Hastening the Destruction of Israel. European diplomats threaten to take the matter to the U.N. Subcommittee of the Task Force for Occasionally Threatening to Issue a Strongly-Worded Report. But the group's next meeting isn't until 2007, and it must first take up the horror of Israel's security fence. Iran promises to allow inspections in exchange for 500 million Euros, payable in coins of enriched uranium. The E.U. agrees, with the condition that the interest rate on the loan will be adjusted upward if Iran makes nuclear bombs. If they actually detonate a bomb there would be an immediate balloon payment, make no mistake about it.

The 1,587th death in Iraq provokes no major display of eye-catching graphics in the Western media, as it is not a round number.

John Roberts is nominated to the Supreme Court. The snarkblogs point out that he wore plaid pants in the '70s, and that his children may yet. He is confirmed nevertheless. There are tense moments, however, when Senator Feinstein attempts to plumb his feelings as a man and father. This seems to be a new standard for top jurists. Roberts refuses to profess that he would powder the bottom of the Bill of Rights, tuck it in, leave a light on, and play new-agey music softly while he read a book in the next room, one ear cocked should the Constitution wake up crying because it had a nightmare about an emanation chasing a penumbra. He is confirmed nevertheless.

Hope you enjoyed.

In Christ.


 
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2 Comments:

At 1/05/2006 11:13:00 AM , Blogger Susan said...

Hehe. I love tongue-and-cheek news commentary :). Those were some goodies.

 
At 1/19/2006 04:02:00 PM , Blogger Adrian C. Keister said...

If you like that, you might try Credenda Agenda, a magazine whose link is over on the right. They have two sections that are usually quite funny. One is The Cretan Times, and the other is the Cave of Adullam. Enjoy!

In Christ.

 

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